The Road to nowhere

Along the road to nowhere

Watch out for stuff on the island roads. I came across a snapped fan belt, that luckily wasn’t mine. Then I came across a half bumper. Now how does someone drive down the road and lose half a bumper and not notice?

Recently, a jeep hit a speed bump and their back door flew open and their new machete, fell out and landed in the middle of the road. Nearby hitchhikers were hollering at the driver, as he seemed clueless, his rear door had flown open. Finally he stopped to shut the door again.

A good Samaritan hitchhiker, grabbed the machete out of the road, and ran after the car hollering and waving he forgot his machete. Instead, the driver, with a look of horror, floored his accelerator and took off in the dust, leaving the bewildered hitchhiker standing there with his new machete. I bet later on in the day, if and when he noticed his new machete was gone, he felt real foolish.

In the islands, it’s common to see people walking or hitchhiking with machetes. Some are gardeners and some just have a penchant for fresh coconut milk. The bush is so rough here, you need a machete to whack through the garden or get down trails or to bust open a coconut or, to rescue your bananas before someone else liberates them.

In this case, the machete was liberated. But this tale is not nearly so bad as the guy who bought a trusty rusty jeep, threw his tool box in the back floorboard and took off down a horribly rutted and potholed road to his new construction job. The rusty heap, made a heck of a noise, with loose side fenders whacking away, strange rattles and noises as he bounced and careened this way down the rotten road.

Finally reaching work, he hopped out to grab his tool box, and was instead left staring at a nice rectangular rusty hole in his rear floorboard.

To make this story even funnier and sadder, he bounced his way back up that road, and never found that tool box. To make you feel better, this happened on a different island, not located in the BVI. The BVI is notorious for returning your lost and found. If you lost it in the BVI, ask around, you more than likely get it back.

I got my house key back last year, after my visiting friend accidentally dropped it in the sand at a beach bar. She told me this about 12 hours after losing it. So nearly 24 hours later, I told the bartender about the lost key and that it had purple nail polish on it and gave them my phone number in case it ever turned up. My friend snickered at me. I was a world class fool. Well, a week later, someone found it, gave it to the bartender, who called me, and I was ironically driving about 2 blocks from the bar, so when I told her I would be right there, I was in about 2 minutes! So, 8 days after losing the house key, I got it back. Amazing.

Well, my gentle readers, enjoy your FIRST day of Autumn, if you are in the northern hemisphere.

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