Putting together a blog article that is just a reflection of other peoples thoughts and experiences sometimes doesn't seem to be that great of a task, but when the subject theme/problem is already on your doorstep - or in this case akimbo in your roof - the text essence takes on a more thoughtful and delicate approach.

Yes, we have bats; non paying guests that have a daily and nocturnal social calendar that varies little: Out at 5.45pm Dominican time in at 5.0am, give or take a flutter. As yet, there is no unpleasant odour or undue noise to cope with, but expert battlers (my term), suggest that although they do not pose a health hazard or are dangerous to humans in any way, they should be removed humanely and safely using environmentally sound methods.

Whilst mulling over this for a while, I decided to do a little research to establish easily understandable pros. & cons for this complex radar-borne creature:

Most people do not recognize how important bats are to a balanced ecology - they control many night flying insects including many crop and garden eating pests as well as mosquitoes. They also pollinate hundreds on native plants such as calabash, cactus, vine pear, neem and many others. Bats also disburse seeds throughout the islands, helping to keep our region healthy and diverse - a quote from the Cayman Wildlife Connection, read more at www.caymanwildlife.org/wildlife.html#bats On the other side of the coin it appears that the only downside in sharing space with our furry flyers is of a cosmetic or smelly nature. With this in mind, knowledgeable battlers have embarked on numerous projects involving purpose built bat houses that create an environment that is totally bat-friendly and away from the main human living area.

An interesting fact: Bats have to find new roosts on their own. At this time, there are no proven lures or attractants that can be inserted or applied to a bat house. Bats will investigate new roosting opportunities whilst foraging at night. - a quote from Bat House Research Project, you can check more at www.batcon.org/bhra/attracting.html

From a potential property buyers point of view - discovering that his or her new home in the Caribbean contains a number of friendly gatecrashers - it would be wise to understand the methodology of removal and containment of the above, rather than to accept the squatters rights of a misunderstood night-time partygoer that can see you many seconds before you can see it.

As for me, until the pungent aroma hits me it can stay!

I went out to drop off laundry yesterday during what I thought was a dry spell, and the heavens opened up like the levees up above had burst forth. The little laundry man was at work and would have liked for me to spend a day chatting with him, but much as I wanted to, I could not, things kept happening that needed my attention.

To top it off, I had another flat tire. Thankfully I had one last lone rusty can of fix-a-flat, I put that into the tire, and it pumped it right up, and sealed the leak. As of this morning, 24 hours later, the tire is still fully inflated. I have always driven with a can or 2 or 3 of this in my heap of a jeep, and let me tell you, it has saved me numerous times.

I will get to the tire repair mon soon, who will mutter under his breath (the stuff stinks when you go to repair the tire properly) but who on earth wants to change a tire in the pouring down rain, especially when the one and same is wearing a short dress with freshly painted finger nails?

I once ran across an elderly English couple who had a flat and they were on that awful muddy rutty road from Smuglers Cove Beach. I was returning from the beach, covered in sea salt and sand. I pulled over and offered them my can of Fix-A-Flat. THey kept trying to politely decline, yet they were all dressed up and they thought I was wildly out of my mind if I thought some can of junk was going to fix that flat tire and it was indeed sitting on the rim. Somehow I convinced them to let me give it a try, afterall, I was dressed for the beach and they were dressed for church or somewhere fancy. I looked over the tire to see if I could find anything offending like a nail to pull out, and sure enough, there was a screw, I pulled that out, stuck the fix-a-flat in the valve and in about 2 minutes the tire was plump as brand new. I wiped the mud off their disbelieving chins (which had largely dropped in awe) and informed them they had to drive IMMEDIATELY and sedately for about a mile or so , then they could resume driving normally. I then hopped in my heap and drove away, yelling at them "Go! Go! Go! You have to DRIVE to make the stuff spin around the tire so it will stick right!"

A week later, I recived an unsual voice mail. THis couple had asked half the island until they found out WHO owned the trusty rusty red heap of a jeep, that had saved their tire that fateful day. I was invited to their home for high tea and a complimentary can of fix-a-flat. Turns out their tire held up fine for days until they finally got it fixed properly. Sometimes that stuff works for months. But it's recomended you get to the tire repair place eventually.

Written by Miss Mermaid

Even in the Caribbean, it's a well known ploy - should you be selling your pied-a-terre, your house or your homely sanctuary - that when your potential buyers arrive, you should have the kind of aromas wafting through the rafters that they are accustomed to, for instance: freshly ground coffee, bread in the oven and maybe a quality furniture polish fragrance cascading et al. But think of this: some suitable listings on a real estate agents website can be miles apart, depending on island size and demographics, so if the eager property advisor has arranged to take the possible buyers as usually couples - on a well thought out itinerary, maybe the ploy should come a bit sooner. A little of the right background music over the miles in the agent's car may inspire a feeling of well-being and induce a graceful fast-forward to the future parting of a spondoolies colloquially known as CASH! .Read on.

Try to keep the audio volume below conversation level, avoid instrumental tracks and make sure the lyrical content of your chosen songs is completely lucid and understandable, as a well written line to some is a subtle brainwash to others. Pass on the emotive stuff like 'New York, New York,' I Love Paris, and Chicago, and China Girl, Country Roadside and Dvorak Going Home blah-blah! Totally counter productive; think more along the lines of Rally around the West Indies a la David Rudder on form, originally penned for the cricket fraternity, an anthem no less Our House a ground breaking ska-linked ditty by Madness, Sting Fields of Barley and if you are in St Lucia or Grenada, at Sugar, Sugar from the Archies, if St Kitts is your location; 'Blue Bayou the Roy Orbison/Linda Ronstadt definitive laid back blood pressure curative as if you're exploring Antigua & Barbuda. As for Dominica as well, 'Up a Lazy River conjures up its own kind of magic - as does 'River of Dreams, Billy Joel well crafted musical missive. Stephen Bishop came up with a great number for Jamaica, On and On that captures the very essence of sun, sand and see what I've just bought! And indeed it does go on. Of course the whole tune-filled library could be linked up as a continuous loop, ensuring that your nest egg or investor type prey eventually gets the message.
The urge to put reggae, pan music or calypso material through your speakers on this trip - albeit indigenous should be shelved as it surely will be construed as an obvious ploy; your smart visitor will pick up quickly that you're trying to make him/her/they so much at home even though they haven't bought one yet.

The subject is broad but subjective; if there are wondrous readers out there with their own tongue in cheek choice of material for potential buyers wishing for a piece of the rock in the Caribees lets hear about it!

Written by Laurie Stevens